Memory Verse of the Day (if I can remember it!)

James 4:7 "So humble yourselves before God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and God will draw near to you."

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Owning Up

Own up. Man up. Cowboy up! However you describe it, being able to stand up and take the blame for something you've done takes guts and courage. And it goes against everything in your nature.

I want to discuss the importance of owning up and accepting the consequences of our actions. In doing so, I want to look at three different examples that are set before us in scripture. A poor example, a pretty good example and then a great example. Examples of how men in the past have handled accepting the blame, that help us see how we should as well.

Anyone who has had kids, taught kids, worked with kids, or in any way interacted with kids in any sort of disciplinary manner has been introduced to the "Not Me" ghost. Who wrote on the wall? Not me! Who broke this plate? Not Me! Who spilled the milk? Not Me!

Kids show us that we learn how to cast the blame from a very young age. When kids fight, it was always the other one who started it (and therefore is to blame). When asked why did you hit your sister? The answer is rarely, because I am a sinner in need of grace... No, it is usually, because she hit me first!

We learn, without having to be taught, that when the heat turns up, pointing the finger often helps save our bacon. Of course, it doesn't work nearly as often or as well as we like to think it does. We nearly always end up causing ourselves more grief, pain and hardships. But, of course, then we can just try and  point the finger again and try to lessen the blow, right?

There are a couple of commercials on the radio that I've been annoyed with lately. They are advertising for some debt counselling program. Now, the programs are necessary and I fully support them. However, the that they are conveying through these commercials I do not support. Basically, they are saying that they know your current debt situation is not your fault. They say that you are not in this mess because of anything you have done, but because life is simply unfair. This may be true in some cases. There are unexpected surprises that arise, and we can easily be caught unawares ad un-prepared. However, so many financial issues nowadays that we face are largely our own fault. We spent money we didn't have. We bought based on some future plan that never came about. We were careless. We didn't prepare and save when we should've, instead we spent frivolously, and now when we need the money we don't have it. So this commercial really bugs me. Because they are completely aligning themselves with our sinful nature. These companies are appealing to our desire to cast blame elsewhere. They stroke our egos, just so that they can garnish our business.

Why does this come so naturally to us? Why is it so easy for us to so quickly resort to this way of our nature? Because it is our nature. Jeremiah 17:9 says that our hearts are deceitful and desperately wicked. Our hearts, our nature, our sinful self, our old man. Whatever you want to call it, we're naturally inclined to act in a selfish way, such as casting blame.

There are many reasons why we try to cast blame elsewhere. We cast blame because we are prideful. We don't want to look incompentant, or stupid. So we throw the blame to someone else so that they look incompenent instead. Our human nature is naturally prideful. Humility plays second fiddle when our pride is at stake. Another reason is fear. As kids, we fear punishment for what we did. So we try and throw the blame on to someone else. As adults, we fear the same. We fear the consequences, we fear the retribution, we fear the shame. By casting the blame onto someone else, that other person is more likely to receive the brunt of the consequences of our actions. Most of the time, we justify casting the blame in this manner because the person we are blaming is often partly to blame. Maybe even more so than us. So we think it is OK that we throw all the responsibility onto them to save our own dignity. Other reasons revolve around easing the pain, as well as an attempt to make ourselves simply feel better. No one likes to mess up. No one enjoys failure. And being confronted with that failure, with our mistakes, our defense mechanisms kick in. We strive to protect our pride, to protect our sense of self worth. So we cast off the blame.

The first example I want to consider this morning is the first man who ever walked this earth, Adam. In Genesis 3:11-13, we enter the story after Adam and Eve had just eaten from the one tree God told them not to eat. God walks into the garden, "Adam! Eve! Where are you guys?"
     "We're hiding, because we're naked." Adam states, as if that was a good enough explanation and hopefully God would just walk away now. But, of course, he doesn't, so he asks,
    "Who told you that you were naked? You didn't eat of the tree that I told you not to eat from, did you?"
And Adam, the first man. Adam had never before been faced with an accusation. Eve had never even rebuked him for not taking out the garbage yet. Adam had perfection delivered to him on a platter. And yet, when faced with the reality of his first mistake he'd ever made, he responds,
     "It was that WOMAN! That Woman YOU gave me!"
Wow. Not only is Adam's first response to sin to cast the blame, but he throws the blame at both his bride AND God! Not only is it Eve's fault for giving Adam the apple in the first place, but it is also  God's fault for giving him Eve. So, God turns to Eve,
     "Eve, what did you do?" And Eve doesn't miss a beat,
     "It was the SERPENT!"
Do we need any more evidence that this is in our nature? The first humans, and their first reaction to being accused of something they were fully responsible for was to cast the blame.

Another piece of scripture that I'd like to focus on for this sermon is found in the book of 2 Samuel chapter 12 verses 1-20 (read it here). In this passage, we see a pretty good example of a man who owns up for his sin. The prophet Nathan takes his life in his hands as he approaches and actually rebukes the king. As king, David could've easily taken Nathan's life for his accusation. Being told that you messed up, that you were wrong, is never something someone wants to hear. And being a king, you could definitely shut the guy up easily enough. But, of course, David doesn't do this. He doesn't even consider the possibility. He instead hears what was said, and realizes he's been called out onto the carpet. And he realizes his sin. And he admits it. He doesn't cast the blame, he doesn't throw Nathan out, he mans up, and owns up to his actions.

What is required to actually man up to what we have done? When we are confronted with our failure, with our mistakes, when everything inside of us yearns to run, to cast blame, what do we need? We need equal doses of courage and humility.We are quick to take the credit. We are quick to accept congratulations when things go right. That is easy. It requires nothing but pride, really, and we tend of have that in spades. But to accept blame? To own up to what we have done? That takes a lot more. That takes courage and humility. Two things that most of us struggle with daily. Humility to allow our pride to be hurt. Humility to let others know that we're not as great as maybe want them to think we are. Humility to accept that we're not as great as we want to think we are. And courage. Courage to own up to our failures. Courage to face the consequences of our actions. Courage to stand up to what may come, because we made the choice that put us where are are. Courage to be humble.

Accepting the blame and standing tall when the accusation is rightfully placed at our feet is critical. Yet, doing this will not relieve us of the consequences of our actions. It is very important to understand that owning up to our mistakes is not the end. As kids, we still would get spanked or grounded, although maybe the punishment wasn't as severe as it could've been. As adults, we still have to work through the mess we are responsible for making. Actions have consequences. David still had to suffer through the death of his child. Yet, while he mourned the tragic path his choice had taken him, he also stood up, dusted himself off and accepted these consequences, praising God.

When I thought through the many examples laid out in the Bible of men that were gracious in front of blame, of course I quickly considered Jesus. Yet, he never did anything wrong. Therefore, he was never faced with an accusation.

Oh. Wait. Yes he was.

When accused of something we have done, we resort to blame. When accused of something we actually didn't do? We take every ounce of our power to ensure that the world is aware that we are being falsely accused.

Jesus displayed a nature that is completely contrary to how we react. We throw blame even when it is surely ours to bear. Yet Jesus spoke not a word, even though he was falsely accused. Jesus took the punishment, the consequences, of the actions of every human that ever had and ever would walk this earth. Jesus bore the pain, the humiliation, the torture when he deserved none of it. And not only did he not react, but the words he did speak were to ask God the Father to forgive those inflicting the pain. What courage that would require! To be the only one on earth to never sin, yet to sit quietly and accept the blame, the shame and the consequences of everyone's sins. What strength he showed us all when he  held back. He could've easily displayed that he truly was the Son of God by striking everyone down with lightening. But he didn't. Jesus took the blame and the consequences that we rightfully deserved, and the only words he spoke were "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

So, how can we have the courage to stand up and face the consequences of our actions? How do we graciously bear the blame that is truly ours? There are two crucial truths that we must remember when walking through these situations.


First of all, we read in Psalms 37:23-24 that "...the Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand."

We are not alone. David wasn't alone. Adam and Eve weren't alone. God is right there beside us as we walk through the consequences. Jesus is holding our hands, ensuring that even though we stumble, we won't fall. We all will stumble. But God will never let us go. It is easier to muster up the courage, to stand tall and brave to face the consequences of our actions when we know that God is standing right beside us, unwavering and strong. We can be brave knowing that regardless, God doesn't walk away. God doesn't leave us in our mess to clean up on our own. Instead, he's right beside us the entire time, expressing his love and forgiveness.

Which leads me to the second point.

Romans 8:1-2 says that "...there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death."

Not only will God not leave us when we fail, but he has forgiven us. As in the story we read of David, when he confessed his sin Nathan told him that God had forgiven him. Of course, this did not mean he didn't have to still face the consequences. However, David could face them with confidence, without shame, because he knew that he was forgiven. He knew that his sins were removed as far as the east was from the west. He stood confident, not in his own self, but in the forgiveness and grace that God granted him. And he proudly faced his future, because he refused to shamefully dwell on his past.