God wants a relationship

The vast majority of us use Facebook on a daily basis. Some of us use it on an hourly basis. And even more seem to be hooked up to the steady drop of the Facebook IV. If I were to ask what is the purpose of Facebook, why does it exist, how would you respond? Connection would be your likely answer. Connection to your friends, to your family and yo the outside world. Sports, news, weather, there is so much that just Facebook alone can deliver. Facebook allows you to see what your friends and family are doing even though they may be miles away. It allows you to watch your nieces and nephews grow up through picture and video uploads. More than ever before, we can remain connected to those we love through our computers, tablets and smartphones.

Why do we strive to be connected? Why has a simple idea like Facebook taken off so dramatically that billions of users across the globe find themselves returning there day after day, hour after hour?

Because we were built, at our core, to have relationships. We were not built to live on this earth alone. We were meant to commune. To love and be loved. Woven into the very foundation of our lives exists a desire to share our experiences at a level known only to man. We are driven, good or bad, by this desire. In fact, we often mistake another person's approval for a relationship and therefore strive to impress those around us by what we say, do and live. We long for relationships. This is why God instituted marriage. He knew that the intimacy that can only come between a married couple is unmatched in any other relationship. This is why children have parents. To model a loving and accepting relationship that shows them no matter what they are loved.

When a man breaks the law in our country and is convicted, he is sent to prison. However, when that man also breaks the law within the prison, he is then often sent to solitary. Being in prison is bad enough. However, if even worse punishment is required, we remove human contact as the ultimate punishment. Because we were built to be with others. Men describe solitary as the worst forum of punishment. Many men have even gone insane from too much time alone. We need interaction from other humans.

God made Adam, yet observed quickly that it was not good that he was alone, and so he made a mate for him, Eve. God understood this need for man to be in a community with others. He understood that need, because understood man. He built man that way, in his image, and God too desires a relationship.

God desires a relationship with us. With you, and with me.

God did not simply put humans on this earth to watch them play, fight, grow and then die. He did not make man and woman just for his amusement, although our antics must amuse him at times to be sure. He did not make man so that he could have slaves to do his every bidding, or to surround himself with 'yes-men'.

No, God desired man to commune with him, the creator.

However, after sin entered God's perfect world, it soon became evident that man would require rules and guidelines. Left to our own devices, our sinful natures would often get the better of us and we would find ourselves in situations that are not pleasing to our creator. We would find ourselves doing things that hurt our relationships. Both the relationships we had with those around us, as well as the relationship we had with God himself.

So rules were to be implemented.

In any situation where multiple humans are involved and you will find a rule book. Sports? Yep. Work? You bet. Home? Most definitely. On the road? For sure.

Rules are a part of life. Rules are required because most of is won't have the decency to think about anyone else but ourselves. Our sinful natures cause is to first look inward before we look outward. When put together with others also looking down at their own desires, there will be collisions, there will be conflict. So God realized, as man realizes in every culture and in every time period, that rules are a requirement if man is to have successful relationships with others.

Did you hear that? Rules are for relationships.

Many look at Christianity and say that there are just too many rules. Many Christians within our own circles think that there are too many rules.

Why do we think that way? Why are we focused on those rules and why are they so important? How many of us who were raised in the church had to memorize the ten commandments as a child?

Many church circles devote so much of their energy on expressing what we all should or should not be doing. We focus on how this person did this and that person did that and how wrong they were! We see someone come into the church with obvious, sinful baggage and we look down our noses. We tell them, clean up! Maybe not with our words, but all too often with our looks and our actions. We say that by grace we are saved, yet we evidence our belief that the grace extended to us is not quite enough. We show the world that by grace and by us following the rules we are saved.

Yet, that is not the message of the Bible. This is not the Jesus I see when I read the gospels. I do not see a Jesus standing and proclaiming a rule book. I do not see him barking out orders about how to live or how not to live, in order to receive the kingdom of God. I do not see a man stressing over anyone's sinful state as being a barrier to the life he offered.

I do, however, see him extending grace. I see him offering love and acceptance. I see him living life fully. I see him eating with sinners. I see him touching the sick. I see him feeding the hungry. I see him... building relationships.

Of course, Jesus was asked about his rule book. Yes, the rule book he put in place with Moses. The rule book that he gave, yet wasn't really focusing on during his time with the people. Jesus was asked, by a well meaning man who was very much like us, focused on the rules, which of the ten commandments was the most important. Of all the commandments, how on wreath could Jesus narrow it down to just one? There are so many important ones or there. They all are extremely important. So, was this a trick question? Narrowing down a single commandment add being the of the highest importance?

So how did Jesus respond?

Love God with all your heart.

Really? What about killing, stealing, committing adultery? Aren't those important rules? Is Jesus saying they don't matter? Are they not also important?

Important, yes. Most important, no.

Love your God. But Jesus doesn't end there. He goes on to say that of equal importance is that we love our neighbor as ourselves.

Jesus didn't sweep any of the other commandments under the rug. He didn't negate the other commandments. But he did simplify what it takes to be sinless. With those two simple commands, the problems of the world disappear. The fighting, the wars, the killing and the stealing. Every other commandment ever given is unnecessary if we just abide by those two. Every other rule book is abolished. With those two, simple commands we are set free from the bondage of regulations. We can live life fully.

I want to be first in line, so my heart desires that I push my way front. But, wait, I love God and want to please him so I can't do that. Oh, and I also love my neighbor more than I love myself so I can't do that. In fact, with those two things in mind, I am happy to let others first.

Did you catch that? I'm happy. I'm happy because I put others first. I put the relationship in front of myself.

Why was Jesus so popular? Why did he have such large crowds that followed him everywhere? Jesus focused on relationships, not rules. Jesus focused on acceptance, not condemnation. He cared for those he touched. He loved those he interacted with, and he put them first. We love to feel special, we love to feel important. As such, we will gravitate towards this in our lives that make us feel this way. Jesus made people feel special because he cared, honestly cared, for each of them.

I realize that I'm treading some liberal waters here. I understand that I'm potentially blurring the line between acceptance of a sinner and acceptance of the sin itself. That is not my intention. Jesus never once accepted sin in anyone's life. But he chose grace and love first. However, he wouldn't shy away from any teachable moment where he could make someone realize the error of their ways. He maybe wouldn't come out and say "you're wrong". Instead, he would demonstrate what it meant to move upward towards God. The woman caught in adultery and about to be stoned? Go and sin no more. The rich man wanting to know what he needed to do in order to be saved? Sell all of of your possessions. The Pharisees trying to scam people in the temple? Rage at their injustice. Jesus knew how to get right to the point.

Consider the adulterous woman. She was about to be stoned for her sins, yet Jesus pointed out that they all were guilty. No one was righteous. And, instead of rebuking the woman, he was gentle and simply told her to move forward on a new, better path than the one she was currently on. Go and sin no more.

Consider the rich man. Jesus cuts right to the heart of the matter, knowing that his failing was his love of his riches and his possessions. This man walked away, knowing what he had to do but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Again, Jesus doesn't rebuke the man. He doesn't ridicule him for his selfish desires. He simply states what needs to be done. Sell everything you own and follow me.

Finally, consider his treatment of the Pharisees. He wasn't gentle, he was harsh. He wasn't timid, he was in their faces. He knew their hearts. He knew that they were about oppression. They oppressed the people with legalism. They oppressed the people by discouraging their relationship with God. The Pharisees did the exact opposite of what God's intention was for man. Instead of culturing a people of relationships, they demanded legalistic practices as a way of them earning their way into the kingdom. They made God out to be a demanding, fearful tyrant rather than a loving, caring father. So Jesus hit them hard to show them, and those around them, the error of their ways. You brood of vipers!

God wants a relationship with you. He doesn't care who you are or where you've been. He's not looking behind you at your sordid past. He's holding out his hand and looking forward. He's saying, come and sin no more. He's saying put aside everything you consider important and follow me. Drop whatever it is that is hindering your walk and grab his hand.

Accept the offer that is on front of you. There are no conditions to be met. There is no small type to read. There are no added clauses to contemplate.

It's open. It's free. It's why you are here.

Owning Up

Own up. Man up. Cowboy up! However you describe it, being able to stand up and take the blame for something you've done takes guts and courage. And it goes against everything in your nature.

I want to discuss the importance of owning up and accepting the consequences of our actions. In doing so, I want to look at three different examples that are set before us in scripture. A poor example, a pretty good example and then a great example. Examples of how men in the past have handled accepting the blame, that help us see how we should as well.

Anyone who has had kids, taught kids, worked with kids, or in any way interacted with kids in any sort of disciplinary manner has been introduced to the "Not Me" ghost. Who wrote on the wall? Not me! Who broke this plate? Not Me! Who spilled the milk? Not Me!

Kids show us that we learn how to cast the blame from a very young age. When kids fight, it was always the other one who started it (and therefore is to blame). When asked why did you hit your sister? The answer is rarely, because I am a sinner in need of grace... No, it is usually, because she hit me first!

We learn, without having to be taught, that when the heat turns up, pointing the finger often helps save our bacon. Of course, it doesn't work nearly as often or as well as we like to think it does. We nearly always end up causing ourselves more grief, pain and hardships. But, of course, then we can just try and  point the finger again and try to lessen the blow, right?

There are a couple of commercials on the radio that I've been annoyed with lately. They are advertising for some debt counselling program. Now, the programs are necessary and I fully support them. However, the that they are conveying through these commercials I do not support. Basically, they are saying that they know your current debt situation is not your fault. They say that you are not in this mess because of anything you have done, but because life is simply unfair. This may be true in some cases. There are unexpected surprises that arise, and we can easily be caught unawares ad un-prepared. However, so many financial issues nowadays that we face are largely our own fault. We spent money we didn't have. We bought based on some future plan that never came about. We were careless. We didn't prepare and save when we should've, instead we spent frivolously, and now when we need the money we don't have it. So this commercial really bugs me. Because they are completely aligning themselves with our sinful nature. These companies are appealing to our desire to cast blame elsewhere. They stroke our egos, just so that they can garnish our business.

Why does this come so naturally to us? Why is it so easy for us to so quickly resort to this way of our nature? Because it is our nature. Jeremiah 17:9 says that our hearts are deceitful and desperately wicked. Our hearts, our nature, our sinful self, our old man. Whatever you want to call it, we're naturally inclined to act in a selfish way, such as casting blame.

There are many reasons why we try to cast blame elsewhere. We cast blame because we are prideful. We don't want to look incompentant, or stupid. So we throw the blame to someone else so that they look incompenent instead. Our human nature is naturally prideful. Humility plays second fiddle when our pride is at stake. Another reason is fear. As kids, we fear punishment for what we did. So we try and throw the blame on to someone else. As adults, we fear the same. We fear the consequences, we fear the retribution, we fear the shame. By casting the blame onto someone else, that other person is more likely to receive the brunt of the consequences of our actions. Most of the time, we justify casting the blame in this manner because the person we are blaming is often partly to blame. Maybe even more so than us. So we think it is OK that we throw all the responsibility onto them to save our own dignity. Other reasons revolve around easing the pain, as well as an attempt to make ourselves simply feel better. No one likes to mess up. No one enjoys failure. And being confronted with that failure, with our mistakes, our defense mechanisms kick in. We strive to protect our pride, to protect our sense of self worth. So we cast off the blame.

The first example I want to consider this morning is the first man who ever walked this earth, Adam. In Genesis 3:11-13, we enter the story after Adam and Eve had just eaten from the one tree God told them not to eat. God walks into the garden, "Adam! Eve! Where are you guys?"
     "We're hiding, because we're naked." Adam states, as if that was a good enough explanation and hopefully God would just walk away now. But, of course, he doesn't, so he asks,
    "Who told you that you were naked? You didn't eat of the tree that I told you not to eat from, did you?"
And Adam, the first man. Adam had never before been faced with an accusation. Eve had never even rebuked him for not taking out the garbage yet. Adam had perfection delivered to him on a platter. And yet, when faced with the reality of his first mistake he'd ever made, he responds,
     "It was that WOMAN! That Woman YOU gave me!"
Wow. Not only is Adam's first response to sin to cast the blame, but he throws the blame at both his bride AND God! Not only is it Eve's fault for giving Adam the apple in the first place, but it is also  God's fault for giving him Eve. So, God turns to Eve,
     "Eve, what did you do?" And Eve doesn't miss a beat,
     "It was the SERPENT!"
Do we need any more evidence that this is in our nature? The first humans, and their first reaction to being accused of something they were fully responsible for was to cast the blame.

Another piece of scripture that I'd like to focus on for this sermon is found in the book of 2 Samuel chapter 12 verses 1-20 (read it here). In this passage, we see a pretty good example of a man who owns up for his sin. The prophet Nathan takes his life in his hands as he approaches and actually rebukes the king. As king, David could've easily taken Nathan's life for his accusation. Being told that you messed up, that you were wrong, is never something someone wants to hear. And being a king, you could definitely shut the guy up easily enough. But, of course, David doesn't do this. He doesn't even consider the possibility. He instead hears what was said, and realizes he's been called out onto the carpet. And he realizes his sin. And he admits it. He doesn't cast the blame, he doesn't throw Nathan out, he mans up, and owns up to his actions.

What is required to actually man up to what we have done? When we are confronted with our failure, with our mistakes, when everything inside of us yearns to run, to cast blame, what do we need? We need equal doses of courage and humility.We are quick to take the credit. We are quick to accept congratulations when things go right. That is easy. It requires nothing but pride, really, and we tend of have that in spades. But to accept blame? To own up to what we have done? That takes a lot more. That takes courage and humility. Two things that most of us struggle with daily. Humility to allow our pride to be hurt. Humility to let others know that we're not as great as maybe want them to think we are. Humility to accept that we're not as great as we want to think we are. And courage. Courage to own up to our failures. Courage to face the consequences of our actions. Courage to stand up to what may come, because we made the choice that put us where are are. Courage to be humble.

Accepting the blame and standing tall when the accusation is rightfully placed at our feet is critical. Yet, doing this will not relieve us of the consequences of our actions. It is very important to understand that owning up to our mistakes is not the end. As kids, we still would get spanked or grounded, although maybe the punishment wasn't as severe as it could've been. As adults, we still have to work through the mess we are responsible for making. Actions have consequences. David still had to suffer through the death of his child. Yet, while he mourned the tragic path his choice had taken him, he also stood up, dusted himself off and accepted these consequences, praising God.

When I thought through the many examples laid out in the Bible of men that were gracious in front of blame, of course I quickly considered Jesus. Yet, he never did anything wrong. Therefore, he was never faced with an accusation.

Oh. Wait. Yes he was.

When accused of something we have done, we resort to blame. When accused of something we actually didn't do? We take every ounce of our power to ensure that the world is aware that we are being falsely accused.

Jesus displayed a nature that is completely contrary to how we react. We throw blame even when it is surely ours to bear. Yet Jesus spoke not a word, even though he was falsely accused. Jesus took the punishment, the consequences, of the actions of every human that ever had and ever would walk this earth. Jesus bore the pain, the humiliation, the torture when he deserved none of it. And not only did he not react, but the words he did speak were to ask God the Father to forgive those inflicting the pain. What courage that would require! To be the only one on earth to never sin, yet to sit quietly and accept the blame, the shame and the consequences of everyone's sins. What strength he showed us all when he  held back. He could've easily displayed that he truly was the Son of God by striking everyone down with lightening. But he didn't. Jesus took the blame and the consequences that we rightfully deserved, and the only words he spoke were "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

So, how can we have the courage to stand up and face the consequences of our actions? How do we graciously bear the blame that is truly ours? There are two crucial truths that we must remember when walking through these situations.


First of all, we read in Psalms 37:23-24 that "...the Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand."

We are not alone. David wasn't alone. Adam and Eve weren't alone. God is right there beside us as we walk through the consequences. Jesus is holding our hands, ensuring that even though we stumble, we won't fall. We all will stumble. But God will never let us go. It is easier to muster up the courage, to stand tall and brave to face the consequences of our actions when we know that God is standing right beside us, unwavering and strong. We can be brave knowing that regardless, God doesn't walk away. God doesn't leave us in our mess to clean up on our own. Instead, he's right beside us the entire time, expressing his love and forgiveness.

Which leads me to the second point.

Romans 8:1-2 says that "...there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death."

Not only will God not leave us when we fail, but he has forgiven us. As in the story we read of David, when he confessed his sin Nathan told him that God had forgiven him. Of course, this did not mean he didn't have to still face the consequences. However, David could face them with confidence, without shame, because he knew that he was forgiven. He knew that his sins were removed as far as the east was from the west. He stood confident, not in his own self, but in the forgiveness and grace that God granted him. And he proudly faced his future, because he refused to shamefully dwell on his past.